Wheat Month

So, as I have mentioned to some of you, I'm gonna eat wheat for a month.

I'm doing this because my blood test for celiac's, which I took before I had given up wheat entirely, was inconclusive. The blood test looks for two antibodies which are present if you're celiac (and if you've been eating gluten). I was negative for the one that almost always comes with celiac disease, but positive for the one that usually but not always means you have celiac disease. As a result, the only way to know for sure is to have an endoscopy done, which looks for damage in the gut. Therefore, in order for the test to work correctly, I must damage my gut. Fun! No one knows exactly how much damage is required to avoid having a false negative test result (and if I'm going to go through this I'd rather be on the safe side!), but my doctor recommended that, since I've been almost completely gluten free, I should eat gluten for a month. At every meal.


People who follow the paleo lifestyle have asked me why I'm bothering with the test if I intend to be wheat free for life anyway. To be clear, I do intend to be wheat-free for life, regardless of the test results. I like myself better, physically, emotionally, mentally, when I'm not eating wheat. The strictness with which I adhere to this standard, however, will depend on these test results. I will always be wheat free in my home. I haven't purchased a glutenous product since before Christmas when I began the challenge (until today). There are two reasons I'm testing. The first is because if I have celiacs, I can't "cheat", and the second reason is related: convenience when eating out. If I have celiac's, I need to be more diligent in asking the server about every sauce, every burger (does it have filler?), every marinade (soya sauce?) or any number of other common menue items where wheat hides (like batter on sweet potato fries, be careful of this one!). If I don't have it, I will continue to order my burger without a bun and hope that there's no breadcrumbs lurking inside the patty. And I will continue to have a few of my mom's awesome tarts at christmas.

The effect that wheat has on me is not as instant, direct, or debilitating as it is for some. I don't get nauseous, start itching, get bloated, or have to run to the washroom immediately. My "symptoms" are more subtle. I feel less lean ("squishier"), slower, a little more tired, weaker, generally icky and all around less badass.

I also potentially do not absorb iron when eating wheat. I tested at the lowest possible healthy level before the challenge. After not eating wheat for 10 weeks (and not changing my intake of meat or leafy greens), my iron count went from 16 to 55, well within the healthy range. Iron=energy and alertness, which I like. I also was B12 deficient, although I took supplements for that right away (B12 is important for mental function!) so it's unclear whether it would have gone up on its own. My research suggests that deficiencies in these things can both be a symptom of celiacs, assuming you're getting enough in your diet, and my doctor agreed.

Anyway, I'm eating wheat for a month, for better or worse.  I went to the grocery store this week because I realized if I was going to eat wheat in every meal I should probably have some on hand. I ventured into the inner aisles and, honestly, I couldn't find a single thing that I actually wanted to buy. I craved none of it. I finally settled on some of those rainforest crisps (gourmet crackers) for snacks, and a box of granola to add to my paleo cereal or greek yogurt for my breakfast gluten serving.

I decided that if I'm going to eat wheat, it had better be the good shit. I'm not going to just load up on lame crackers and wonderbread. So I made up a wish list, which probably includes far too many pastries, of all the things I want to have during this month, just in case I can never have them again. Grilled cheese from the Bean Bar, butter tarts, bagels from Locke St, shortbread, mom's biscuits, Nick's mom's arugula pizza, oreos.....yup, I'm gonna get temporarily fat. Which will not only be unattractive, but annoying, because I just had to buy a whole bunch of new shorts for the summer because last year's pairs all just fall completely off...

I suspect that by the end of wheat month I'm going to be very glad to be returning to paleo...the thought of having to eat wheat at EVERY meal is a bit daunting and kind of grosses me out. I've just begun eating wheat again and already I've noticed some undesirable qualities. I bought some fresh egg bread from the Dundas Market today becuase it used to be my favourite. When I ate it, it was definitely delicious, but didn't give that emotional satisfaction that I was expecting (and recalled having in the past). It was kind of hard to make myself eat the whole piece, actually. But then, somehow, five minutes later I was in the kitchen getting another piece. I have no idea why, I just needed more. It was a very strange feeling, and I was left with the familiar post wheat-binge guilt.

Since going paleo I'm rarely besieged by uncontrollable cravings except the odd occasion when a particularly wonderful dessert or the smell of something freshly baked is near. And I definitely haven't felt guilty about eating anything since I stopped eating wheat. In fact, I eat whatever I want (except wheat) and as much as I want, including fat, without ever feeling like I've over eaten (except if I have wheat). Funny, that. I welcome returning to paleo for the feeling of control over my own food intake and the feeling of satisfaction without guilt of overeating.

Also, I really enjoyed the removal of the layer that was covering my abs. Probably they'll go away for a little while. See you soon, abs.


I've taken a reverse before photo and some waist measurements that I will be comparing as we go along so stay tuned. And if you have any glutenous things around the house that you want to get rid of without wasting them, I'll probably take them off your hands ;)